Desperate but Sober

话说偶上大学的时候迷恋某直男ss。

今天上班的时候，需要在Law Society的Lawyer Register上面寻找某律师的信息。

突发奇想，ss也是读法律的，就算现在在金融公司任职，是不是也注册了律师呢？

好在s的姓氏比较偏，那就搜吧。

果然。。。只有一个结果

可是不是ss

而是ss的女友的名字

女友已经把姓氏改成了ss的姓氏。。。

这意味着啥。。。真是倍受打击

 

 

MJ去世了。之前一直在忙，这消息便也没有如何的渗透到心理。

 

那天在程浩家大家说起来，也仍然只是麻木地听着，好像那痛苦与我无关。

 

直到今天在youtube上面点到了MJ的Childhood，我最喜欢的MJ歌，静静听着，积累的那些感情便再也无法控制，号啕大哭起来。

 

MJ就那样地走了。连同我的年少一起。

 

记得初中的时候狂喜欢Michael，收集了他的全部专辑，还有音乐录影。不仅自己喜欢，还把他的音乐电视的VCD带到学校，然后音乐课的时候让音乐老师播放。我还记得那天看的是Remember the Time，当时看起来，象崇拜神祗一样。

 

记得某一节心理辅导课上老师问起，大家的偶像是谁，很多人回答了周总理或者鲁迅之类的，我却毫不犹豫地说我的偶像是MJ。

 

记得第一次学会了moonwalk的原理时的兴奋，从家里客厅的这一头滑到那一头，然后再滑回来，来来回回，边滑边傻笑。

 

记得又过了几年，才明白了他用他的star power而宣扬的Heal the World和Earth Song是怎样的伟大。

 

记得很多年之后，在Law school上Evidence，讲师美国人Scott Optican提到了MJ的case。我下课去找他问问题，提起来MJ，他十分肯定地对我说他相信MJ有罪："How else could you explain the boy refusing to testify the very next day? He must have been paid to keep his mouth shut"。

 

还记得我对他说:"I suppose you could be right, but right now I am still not willing to accept that idea, even though I am generally not inclined to believe in the good of people."

 

在我的脑海里，总有我买的第一张MJ的合集里，精致的印刷的小册子里，有一页画着一个黑人小男孩，睁着大眼睛蜷缩在一个角落里，下面是MJ亲笔写的字句:"Before you judge me, try hard to love me, look within your heart then ask: have you seen my childhood?"

 

如今再次听到这首歌，那幅画，那两行字，又再次地浮现。

 

我诧异自己为何从来没有向人推荐过这首我10年以前最喜欢的歌。看看歌词，可能你会更了解MJ也说不定。。。Michael,走好。

 

Well, basically this is what happened.

 

The comments were inappropriate and offensive. The subsequent twitter entries were worse. The worst part was the editing of the show, presenting the dancers as some sort of freaks. (As any other reality competition show, in the preliminary rounds they only show you those they consider really good or really freakishly bad).

 

However I don't really think Nigel is a homophobe, honestly. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that he used to be a dancer for many years. It is not easy for a male dancer to survive the mockings and ridicules and it is probably even a bit more difficult for the straight male dancers. I don't know what Nigel had been through during his years as dancers. However I guess what Nigel has been trying to do is to promote the art of dance and hopefully will encourage more young people to dance. Having two male dancers dancing in such an intimate way certaily does not help the parent to encourage their sons to learn dancing. As a matter of fact the parents might even freak out and worry that their sons who like dancing may someday hold another man in his arms like that. It is not about Nigel's prejudice, it is more of a sad sad fact.

 

I recall one episode of SYTYCD where Nigel and other judges cracked in laughters when they watch Travis Wall dancing in drag. Ironically enough Travis was dancing to "It's raining man" in that episode. I don't think any homophobe would be able to actually enjoy that dance that much without raising an eyebrow.

 

What is really disgusting is the way the show was edited. They depicted the two dancers as a couple of clowns and that is really not cool. But come to think of it when it comes to record keeping in the gay-bashing department, Fox really represent the white corporate big religious America that never ceases to repress on the LGBT community. In that sense SYTYCD is not nearly as bad as American Idol where you can hear Ryan Secreast constantly cracking gay jokes. I am pretty sure Ryan is a very lovely and nice lady in real life but gay-basing is probably the Fox style and so Ryan probably doesn't have a choice.

 

Compared to this relatively trivial incident I am more concerned with how the proposition 8 ruling come out from the US Supreme Court in just about several hours time. The whole thing has been a bit unsettling for me and I can almost sense a storm coming... 

 

心血来潮，想做蛋糕，于是乎一个绿茶口味的慕斯蛋糕就诞生了~~看起来还不错吧？味道也不错哦，嘿嘿

 

I am disappointed, but not surprised. Not really sad either.

 

I wish this was purely a "gay issue", but it is probably a bit more than that.

 

Kris is likeable. You may not think he is talented but it is very didfficult to hate him. I can understand why some people might hate Allison, I can understand why some people might hate Danny and it is very easy to understand why many people hate Adam but it is not so easy to find a reason to hate Kris. That makes a big difference. Especially after Danny was voted off. The Danny supporters would keep voting. Who do you think they will be voting for?

 

Kris is...safe. I don't mind listening to him or looking at him, but I won't listen to his songs time and time again as I did with Adam's songs either.

 

People like the safe type, they also like the underdogs who have grown throughout the show. They feel like they are a part of his success when they keep voting for him and see him win in the end. And that's what they got.

 

But AI title isn't really such a big deal. The most successful female and male AI alumni are Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry. Neither of them won the title. So what?

 

Good luck to Adam. You have already got all the publicity you need and this is just the begining of your new journey.

 

As to Kris, congratulations. I don't think I will ever be able to hate you. You are really sweet, although I have already forgotten all the songs that you did on the show.